What is O.D.D.?

 Chasing Lilly, Children, RAD parenting  Comments Off on What is O.D.D.?
Dec 262014

Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or ODD, was one of Lilly’s main diagnoses. It pretty much means that you will be defied on every level if power is at stake. Kids that have this seem to enjoy refusing to do what you want. They will disobey, argue, and cause trouble.

There are possible causes of ODD:  biological, environmental, or genetic. ODD is usually seen with other disorders such as ADHD.

More information on Oppositional Defiant Disorder can be found here.    😯 -Nealie

Dec 122014

Hi everyone! Christmas is coming fast! In our family, we have the added fun of three December birthdays all close to Christmas.

I was having dinner with a friend last night, and she remembered a Lilly story that I had forgotten until she told it.

Lilly was about six or seven, and we went to a big Christmas production at church. She was all dressed up for the holiday, and looked gorgeous in her Christmas dress.

At some point in the program, the choir was singing loudly, and Lilly got out of her seat and went into the aisle at the end of our row.

I was nervous that she was away from us, even if it was only six feet away, because let me tell you, she had a way of making things happen.

I kept glancing her way, and each time I did, she was waving her hands in time with the upbeat music and watching the choir intently.

That is, until we looked again, and saw that she was keeping time to the music with both middle fingers waving in the air.

Time to grab a kid and go!

That my friend  remembered it all these years later says a lot about the impact that child could have on people.

Merry Christmas, everyone! I’ll do another blog on December 26th. In the meantime, spread the word that Chasing Lilly is on Amazon Kindle! Love my readers! ➡  -Nealie

The Torch Club

 Children, General Information  Comments Off on The Torch Club
Dec 092014

I just recently heard about The Torch Club from a friend who is actively involved. The Torch Club partners with schools to provide faith-based character education. It also connects the schools with community organizations. This is a win-win for the schools, and for the students and their families. To learn more and maybe bring this to your area, check out the link!  🙂 Nealie

Chasing Lilly is Available!

 Chasing Lilly  Comments Off on Chasing Lilly is Available!
Dec 082014

Chasing Lilly is available for downloading! Yay!Chasing Lilly book cover

You need an android phone or iPhone, iPad, tablet, Kindle, etc., Here is the link.

Dec 052014

Teachers and coaches both have a thankless job at times, and find themselves unable to please every parent. As a parent, it is your duty to look after your child’s welfare, but watch how you go about it, or your child may be the one who suffers from your lack of wisdom. Make sure that you remember that a teacher cannot please everyone, and that they are under-staffed and challenged by budget cuts and testing requirements.

Three things that you can do to help:

1. Don’t jump to conclusions and go off in an email or letter addressed to the teacher or principal. Give it a day or two, and think about it calmly, then send a polite email or note that    praises the good things that the teacher is doing first, before you get to your concern. And keep it brief!

2. Be supportive. Don’t talk poorly about the teacher in front of your child! Send in supplies on time, and back up the teacher with quick follow-through of any requests that they have made. Be on time for conferences, and smile when you enter the room.

3. Vote for your school levies, and volunteer at the school if you can.

Dec 022014

We  had some strange trials and tribulations as parents way before Lilly came to live with us. When Joy was barely thirteen, she took a twelve-year-old friend joy-riding (ha-ha) in our Toyota one night. Thankfully, they arrived back at our house safely -and were found out.

I am not sure why it is a reason to smile now, because it sure wasn’t then. Joy paid dearly for that misstep, because the parents of her best friend decided that Joy was probably a bad influence on their daughter, and broke off the friendship. The Toyota ride didn’t kill Joy, but that about did.

Life deals some severe consequences at times. I wish we had heard of Parenting with Love and Logic before we became parents, because it is so refreshing and, well, logical. It is a great resource, and I can’t say enough about it. If you need to feel more secure in your parenting, or if you need ideas to be a better and more effective parent or grandparent, then you need to read or listen to some of the Love and Logic materials. 🙂 Nealie

Mad, Sad, or Bad

 Chasing Lilly, Children, Foster children, Fostering  Comments Off on Mad, Sad, or Bad
Nov 282014
Children need to feel safe.

Children need to feel safe.

Lilly seemed to always feel mad, sad, or bad. There wasn’t much in between. She didn’t trust anyone, because nobody in her young life  could be counted on or trustworthy.

John Simmons is a very real parent of children with many issues, and he has an informative blog that I like. Here is a link to a recent one that he did about RAD children and their emotions.

A Few Things to Try with an Anxious Child

 Children, Foster children, Fostering  Comments Off on A Few Things to Try with an Anxious Child
Nov 252014

Sometimes a child’s anxiety comes out in ways that mask what’s really going on. Maybe he or she is crying over something seemingly unimportant, or he is extra irritable and acting out. It could be that you are seeing those things because he is anxious about something.

Try to pin-point when the anxiety first began. What happened around that time? Was he exposed to new people? Alone with someone who could have hurt or scared him? That’s thinking the worst, but go from there to exploring a possible school bully, trouble learning a subject in school, maybe a dog in the neighborhood that makes him want to stay inside.

Kids sometimes do not want to say why they are anxious or afraid, or maybe they couldn’t put a finger on it if you asked them.

Try to make one-on-one time where things are calm and quiet, and play with the child and see if you can eventually get him to open up. Consider seeing a physician to explore other possibilities if the answers do not come. Also, Play Therapy has helped many children.

Let your child know that you are there to listen to them and protect them, and that they can come to you. Keep your antennas up, but don’t allow yourself to become anxious as well, because that will make matters worse.  💡  -Nealie