Jan 292017

Taking Care of Children by Ari Kuzmik

Remember the swimming pool mental picture from Chasing Lilly?

Picture an empty swimming pool in your mind. It represents a damaged child’s life. Then someone dumps a bucket of dirt into the pool. That dirt is the abuse and trauma experienced by the child.

Your job as a healer is to dilute the dirt by adding bucket after bucket of (healing) “water” by loving and connecting with that child.

The trauma (dirt) is still there, and always will be in that pool, but the healing water of goodness, love, and acceptance will dilute the the bad things, and that child will be empowered to have a better life.

The healing will take much longer than the period of abuse did. Sometimes it takes forever.

Forever is a long time, but if I have done anything in my life, let it be that I have helped an injured child heal.

But not at the cost of damaging and traumatizing other children. That’s the catch.

You must protect other children from being harmed, and don’t assume that kids are resilient and everything will be okay, just like you don’t assume that your pets will be fine without added protection.


P.S. Don’t you just love Ari Kuzmik’s art? 🙂



Jan 232017

cats cuddling

Hi Readers,

I don’t usually say much about what’s going on with Lilly, but she’s been having a difficult time since Thanksgiving. I’m asking you for some prayers to get her past this.

I can’t go into detail, but her behavior has been off the charts. I am praying for the right medications, wise council, and for Lilly herself to have a light come on in her understanding of some things.

I believe that prayers can and do make a huge difference. Thank you! Nealie.

Jan 132017


If you are fatigued from the demands of caring for special needs children, you must catch a break at some point. Respites are for that purpose, so use them if you are lucky enough to have them!

If you don’t have respites available, try to get away for a few hours to recharge, by asking a spouse or family to spell you. Don’t suffer in silence. You could switch off for several hours at a time with another family who has a special needs child.

When you need a vacation and it just isn’t going to happen, pull a chair up to a window where the sun is shining in, and soak in some sunshine with coffee and a book. Or simply close your eyes for ten minutes while you’re sitting near the window. Sunshine is healing.

Reduce time on social media if you can. Texting and gaming are drains.  Connect directly with a friend by talking on the phone or meeting in person.

And don’t forget prayer and meditation. There’s a strength and refreshing that comes in those quiet moments. 😎  -Nealie  

The Lone Rager?

 Chasing Lilly, General Humor, Uncategorized  Comments Off on The Lone Rager?
Jan 012017

The Lone Rager

The art work is Tommy’s. He just turned eight and is a prolific artist.

This picture stood out to me, because not only is it funny, it can represent several things. One of course, is the real Lone Ranger. 🙂

Then, there is the Lone RAGER, who could be an adult who is always angry about something.

But what about a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder? That child rages all the time, it seems. Unfortunately, there are more than one of these ragers, and the numbers are growing. There are a whole lot of angry and hurting children out there, and most teachers and social workers don’t know what to do with them.

That’s why I wrote Chasing Lilly and the Curriculum. Please pass the word if you haven’t already.

I would love to do a kid’s book on the Lone Rager. I’ll add that to my list of what I’d like to accomplish in 2017.

And if you are parenting a lone rager, don’t forget to check out the resources offered on my website. An especially good one is  Dr. Karyn Purvis and the Connected Child.

Love my readers!  -Nealie