I don’t remember school fundraisers where teachers were duct-taped to the wall when my kids were in school.
These days, if a student takes a dollar to school, he gets one strip of duct tape to use on the teacher. Two dollars buys two strips, etc. It seems like pretty harmless fun.
But it’s not!
When I watched this happen a few months ago, one young adopted Asian girl was crying, and it occurred to me that some students might not be able to process what was taking place. They might be the youngest kids, the special needs, adopted, and/or trauma kids.
Lilly, for example would have gone ballistic if she’d seen it. I just know, because she was tied up when she was little, and she remembers.
I think even now in her twenties, she would have a hard time with it, because although it is not technically abusive, it could be perceived that way and trigger certain emotions.
This could also apply to a child that endures unreported abuse at home. This “duct-taping to a wall” activity could ruin the day for them. Completely. And it needs to stop.
So should schools quit the teacher-taping fun? Yes. Besides the trauma aspect, I feel it also borders on disrespect toward those in authority.
Why not see how big a “duct tape ball” could be made instead?
Break a record, not a heart.
That’s something so many people say when they are struggling with a traumatized child.
Specifically, a Developmental Trauma Disorder child, like Lilly. Or like your DTD child.
What I would say to you is this:
- Stay safe! Physically stay safe. Keep other children out of the path of danger. Lock yourself in a room and call the police if you feel in danger. You cannot help the DTD child (or any other kids in the house) if you are injured. Deal with broken windows later…better that than a broken you.
- If you are having trouble being believed about the craziness and danger, secretly film it. I never had to do this because I was believed, but do it if you need to. Ann and Marty Wells in Chasing Lilly had to film Lilly to be believed. (If the child knows you are doing the filming it will up the ante for them, so do it secretly.)
- Don’t hesitate to allow police intervention. We had the police involved many times, and at the beginning they didn’t want to do anything but lecture our little darling because she was sooooo little. (What self-respecting officer is going to haul a 50 pound little kid to the police station?) But after a while the lectures end, and they call an ambulance for a psychiatric trip to the hospital. More and more, younger children are ending up with police interventions, and it’s scary! But if it is the only way to eventually get help for that child then it has to be done. If your kid is a teen they will be charged with unruly child, assault, etc., and sent to a juvenile detention center. Once there, if the center cannot handle them, then you have even more documentation and hopefully the needed services will be made available. Nobody wants to pay for anything or pay attention to the huge need for help, until the chaos is in their corner.
- Never give up on being therapeutic! But do it from a safe place.
Love my Readers,