I think that anyone who wants to adopt should slow down and learn about the child’s background in detail, and then put things in place that will help that child before the child is adopted. Things to ask and consider:
History of the child. Everything and anything.
Diagnoses and how to treat them. Who will the therapist be? What have you read and studied about this?
LISTEN to what the past and/or current caregiver says and advises, if they know the child well and have been successful with him/her.
Don’t be in a rush if it is a trauma adoption. Get things in place. Read about the condition(s). Prepare yourself. Don’t be the cause of more trauma!
If it is possible to stay in contact with the last loving caregiver, then do so. How would you like being ripped away from someone who cares about you?
Find out from a few professionals how this could affect your other children and pets.
If you can’t do these things, or can’t afford to, then you are not properly prepared to take on trauma children. If you already have, though, and all this is moot, then find resources and people that can help. You get no judgement from me, because most people adopting try to have the children’s best interests at heart.
If you find yourself pushing forward with an adoption and find continual obstacles blocking your path, then maybe you are not the right people for the adoption. God can work in mysterious ways, the saying goes.
All this advice from someone who has never adopted, ha! But I have chased Lilly. Please read it if you haven’t. Love my readers -Nealie