Guardian of the Book


Lilly was able to come for a home visit after 14 months of being pretty much stuck at her facility because of covid. She was only off-campus for doctor and dentist appointments.

It was nice having her here! Lilly had never seen this current home because we moved during her lock-down. She’d been able to get a feel for where we now live through DUO face-to-face calls. Thank goodness for technology like that.

We still had to make sure there were no scissors, knives, pill bottles, etc. anywhere in sight before she arrived. That doesn’t change no matter where we live.

Her first request was to see her “Life Book.” In Chasing Lilly I wrote about how CHC required foster parents to make one for each child, and how much it has meant to Lilly over these 21 years.

While examining and commenting on the pictures, Lilly asked if she could take it with her when she left.

Hmmm, now that was a hard question. I’d love to hand it over to her. But any and every time I have given her duplicate pictures, (which has been quite a few times), the photos disappear. Forever.

I have no idea what has become of them, but suspect that she rips them up when she’s mad, or they get swept up in the trash when her room is cleaned out.

I’m not about to turn the book over to her yet, so I told Lilly that she could take it with her when she had gone a year without any major violence. That seems like a long time (and it is), but the only photographic history that exists of her life is not going into the trash because I go soft.

My official title is Guardian of the Person, but I guess I’m also Guardian of the Book.

Love my Readers, -Nealie

Turtles and Cats

Lilly and I were talking on the phone last night, and I told her that her dad, (Bruce), bought Turtles for me for Valentines Day….

“Your dad got me a box of Turtles. You know how much I love those.”

She didn’t say anything for a few seconds so I asked, “Do you remember what they are?”

“Yes. Turtles can be beautiful. Especially the green ones. But they can bite. I remember seeing them before.”

“I’m talking about the chocolate ones.”

“Yeah, I know. I watched a show about turtles. Some get really big, but some have pretty colors.”

‘Lilly, I’m not talking about animal turtles, I’m talking about chocolate candy turtles.”

“I know.”

I cracked up laughing at our crazy conversation, and she joined in because she knew why I laughed.

Lilly’s mind went one direction when turtles were mentioned, probably because she is so fascinated with animals. Always has been. She knows she has issues, and that animals are a weak point for her in both good and bad ways. When she visits here I keep a close eye on her with our cats, and she’s fine with that and doesn’t get angry at me.

Nowadays she cares for an outdoor feral cat at her facility and gives it food and water regularly. I am proud of her. That has been a good stepping stone in her journey to healing.