Mar 202019
 

Canva-Skunk

The little guy in the photo is really cute, but four people I know (including Lilly) have had really bad skunk adventures. This kind of stuff is hard to forget because it gives me shivers!

Carol’s Dachshund  was sprayed and ran into her house, straight for the master bedroom, hid under the bed and wouldn’t come out… Wow.

Jackie’s dog was sprayed (for a second time) and got into the house and putrefied it. She asked if she smelled like a skunk when we saw her. (Well…)

Debb’s dog didn’t get sprayed but killed a skunk last week. Very sad for the skunk, but it was amazing her dog wasn’t sprayed.

Then there’s Lilly’s story. Here’s an excerpt from Chasing Lilly:

“One day Lilly noticed a skunk at the edge of the woods. She didn’t include skunks in her group of friends and took off out the door after it. She scooped up a stick and pursued the evil beast as fast as she could. Lilly later recounted the skunk didn’t react until she whacked it with the stick and shouted, “Get out of here, you devil!”

As soon as it sprayed her, she yelled some more and dropped the stick and ran fast toward the Blair houses. She tried the door of the first house she came to, and it opened.

“Lilly –whoa!” The door slammed shut in her face.

She ran to the next door and they wouldn’t let her in, either.

The third door was her own house, and they decided to let her in –probably after thinking about what could happen to them if they didn’t.”

Lilly and I were laughing about that the other day. (She’s doing really well at the government-run residential center.)

Have a skunk-free day! 🙂

-Nealie

 

 

 

 

Reflecting

 Chasing Lilly  Comments Off on Reflecting
Mar 042019
 

Canva-Girl-Sad-Staring-Music

I lost my father yesterday. I knew it was coming and was prepared as much as anyone could be.

And so Lilly lost a grandfather. She was not super close to him because she was in and out of so many “places” over the years, and that made visiting difficult. But, he was her grandfather in this family, and there was a connection…two ornery people. 🙂

She will have to be told soon, but I hesitate to pick up the phone and tell her.

Lilly has lost probably over a hundred people over the years. Her bio parents, many foster parents, bio and foster siblings, favorite caregivers and caseworkers, and the special therapists…

A few have died. Others came and went with the many placements. Such loss, yet Lilly gives back in the small ways she can. Like a picture she colored, a Kit Kat candy bar, or a phone call with words of encouragement. Lilly is exceptionally giving, which is really something for someone who has lost so much.

I’m going to call her soon. Please say a prayer for her.

-Nealie

 

Lilly is in a Good Spot

 Chasing Lilly, Life's Difficulties, RAD parenting  Comments Off on Lilly is in a Good Spot
Feb 102019
 

Canva -Boerboel-Peanut-Bulldog-Ballotade-Dog-Beast

Just a few months ago I was at the end of my wits trying to figure out where Lilly could live safely. She had quite a year as far as bad events go.

She was accepted at one of those $600 a day facilities, paid for by taxpayers, of which I am one. No place was working out safely. I am grateful she is still alive -that’s how dangerous things have been.

She was eventually able to get into the place because we hadn’t adopted her. If we had, it would have been way more difficult, if at all. That’s unfair if you have an adopted child in the same situation unless you have a caseworker and/or a team of people working to help you. I think we had about five people on the team who were alarmed by the constant calls, emails, and MUI’s (Major Unusual Incidents), and that is SO different from one or two parents struggling on their own.

I feel for you if you are in that group! It would be so nice if there was a questionnaire/scale that would be a way to evaluate who gets to be accepted into the residential environment, rather than money or insurance. The mental health system needs fixed in a big way. If there was an admittance scale, and data submitted was documented by professionals who worked with your child (regardless of insurance), then the people who really qualified would get the help they needed.

Many more facilities would have to open to provide care for them, because many people have been left without treatment because of our broken system. The government is trying to save money by closing many of these residential centers, but it will cost society in other ways if these folks don’t get help.

I don’t know exactly how long Lilly will be allowed to stay…We heard a date, but with Lilly’s behaviors it could go past the date. They can say, “We will approve a three (or six) month stay,” but what are they going to do with her at the end of that time period if she isn’t stable? The last “three month stay” turned into twenty months.

So as long as it lasts I will rest, (in my mind at least), and know she’s in the most capable hands there are (other than God’s).  And no, that’s not Lilly in the picture if you were wondering, but it conveyed what I was feeling.

-Nealie

P.S. Remember to tell your friends who listen to Amazon Audibles that Chasing Lilly is a book on Audibles. The narrator did a fantastic job!

Is it Truth or Fiction?

 Chasing Lilly  Comments Off on Is it Truth or Fiction?
Jan 112019
 

Nealie-Rose-Mardi-Gras

First I will say that Lilly never lies about everyday stuff (like what, when, where), for a normal routine day. She states the facts.

Next, I will concede that she enjoys telling new people made-up and entertaining things. (Like she used to be a drug addict or that I raise pet skunks.)

Then there are stories that she tells me about things gone awry in her life. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with what she tells me. I ask myself did that really happen? If I reported everything she said, nobody would take me seriously. This balance is so hard for me.

Most of Lilly’s stories are true, but it’s so hard to tell sometimes. Can anybody relate? One time she told me that someone sat on her because she was acting out and injured her. I listened, and decided it was an exaggeration because she was mad at a caregiver.

I was wrong. We later found out (after a few days of complaining of pain and an x-ray), that Lilly had a broken bone. I should have reported it at the time she told me.

And then there is also one more type of fact vs. fiction that we run into with Lilly. There have been some times where she was in a manic mode and didn’t realize what she did or broke, and vehemently denied doing what she clearly did, because she didn’t remember doing it.

I would never classify Lilly as a liar because she is mostly truthful, but there certainly are times that require mental sifting and deliberation.

Love my readers,

Nealie