Aug 312018
 

Canva-what-are-you-willing-to-risk

Oh, the emotions I have experienced raising Lilly! Emotions have been all of these and more:

Fear for her safety

Fear for my safety

Fear for others’ safety

Fear of the future

Fear that she would get mad

Fear of things being broken or destroyed

Fear of what people would think

Fear of failing at mothering her

Fear at what the strain would do to my marriage

Fear of losing every friend I’ve ever had, because of Lilly

Fear for my pet’s safety

Fear of a mental or emotional breakdown

Fear she’d be rejected by the schools

Fear that drivers would refuse to transport her

Fear that she’d run away again

Fear we’d never get relief or help

Fear of hurting her by my responses to the craziness

You get the picture!

I could go on, but the common feeling was fearfulness about what might or could happen. And believe me things happened -ALL the time!

You must reach a point where you take inventory and decide what you will endure and put up with, and what you won’t. That’s what I call your safe spot.

What are you willing to risk? Where do you draw the line? I’m talking to you. 🙂

Make a list, mentally or on paper, of what you are and are not willing to sacrifice. For me, broken windows were a shattering experience, lol, but I could deal with that. I could handle losing some friends, but not losing connection with my immediate family. (Some of you would rather keep your friends!) I could accept that things in the house might be broken, but I was not willing to have my bones broken.

This kind of thinking also applies to other caregiving situations, like caring for an elderly parent. In all this, it does nobody any good if you lose your mind, or your health and well-being because you refuse to look at facts. Facts that you are likely to die in one way or another if you don’t find and STAY in your safe spot.

I like to keep things short, so I will end it here, but think about this.

-Nealie

 

 

 

 

 

Aug 172018
 

Hi Readers!

I recently toured a place that employs people with special needs, and they agreed to take Lilly!

What would she be doing? This place is a little thrift shop where toys, furniture, appliances, and clothes are sold. It has garage bays in the back, where DD employees clean, fix, and paint things that were donated. Someone puts price tags on items, and another person runs a cash register.

I was impressed, not with the cleanliness, (because it was kinda messy), but with the laughter and general activity going on there. They also had a room designated as a “sensory room,” for when someone needs to chill out before acting out.

I wondered if this might work out for Lilly? I also wondered if she would literally trash the place if she ever got mad enough. She could.

We who parent kids from places of deep trauma have to be ever hopeful, but not too disapointed if things don’t work out for our kids.

While we were there, Lilly begged me to buy a strange metal decoration. She said, “MOM! Look at this! I LOVE it! Please, please, can you get it for my room?”

“Lilly, you have some of your own money, and if you want that thing, you’ll have to use your own money.”

I got a little glare from her before she returned it to where she found it.

A couple minutes later Lilly was paying for a pair of platform shoes with her own money, lol, and she never ran that purchase by me! I don’t know how much she will make at her first real job, but I know she will spend most of her paycheck there. 🙂

-Nealie

 

 

 

 

Free Audibles of Chasing Lilly

 Chasing Lilly, General Information, Uncategorized  Comments Off on Free Audibles of Chasing Lilly
Jun 022018
 

Chasing-Lilly-BookFor the first five readers who respond/comment to this post, I will email a code so you can listen to Chasing Lilly’s Audible version. I’ll do a Face Book offer for another 5 codes, too, so check there if this doesn’t work out for you.

Note:  You need to be a member of Audibles to use the code, and it would be great if you left a review when you’ve finished the book. 🙂

-Nealie

Audibles Chasing Lilly

 Chasing Lilly, General Information  Comments Off on Audibles Chasing Lilly
May 252018
 

Bungy-jumping-nealie-rose-feels-like-this-yay!This is not me bungy-jumping, but I am almost happy enough to do it! Almost. 😀

Chasing Lilly is now in the Audibles format for those of you who listen to audio books.

And please don’t forget to leave a review if you love it. 🙂

Also, in case you missed it, I have a new website for Middle Graders (10-14) and a new mystery book, called The Portal in the Attic. This will be a series.

Love my readers, -Nealie