Aug 012017
 

Some time ago, a relative buried his mother. Not long after, he and his brother and father went to the gravesite to see the newly delivered gravestone. They took pictures, and he showed me a photo of the headstone on his cell phone.

It was an ornately carved, big, beautiful piece of marble. But something was wrong, and I noticed it right away.

“Your last name is spelled wrong,” I commented.

He thought I was joking, and I had to tell him to LOOK at the picture.

He was shocked. “I can’t believe it! How did we miss that?!”

I understood how three people could miss something so obvious. And it was their own last name, for Pete’s sake. It was because emotional turmoil blinded them.

That’s why those of us working with people who have mental health problems need a team of people to shape how we view things. I don’t know how we could have seen our way all these years with Lilly, without the different team member’s input and insight, because of the continual emotional upheaval and exhaustion. These team members have been guardians, social workers, doctors, medication RN’s, and therapists. And sometimes, it’s a friend who visits Lilly and notices something I don’t, because I am too close to the situation.

My advice is to take advice, as long as it goes with your gut feeling of what is right. Don’t try to be all and do all. You will need help along this journey.

<3 Nealie

 

 

 

 

 

Share This:

Aug 292016
 

When we moved to a new house, Lilly wanted to visit as soon as possible to check it out. She wanted to make sure certain things were still in place.

Things like Bruce and I. And where are the pets -Dunkin’, Noodles, and Moses? Never mind about one single piece of furniture or decoration. Lilly needed to know that all that lived and breathed were fine.

Then she was okay.

She had it right, you know. Sometimes we get the things that don’t live and breathe ahead of what matters.

Love my readers, Nealiecats

 

Share This:

Jan 202016
 

cat smelling flowerIt’s imperative to take care of yourself when you have special needs kids, multiple small children, a member of your family with long-term, chronic illness, or similar demands that suck you dry.

Make time for yourself, (even a few minutes), when you have any of those situations, or when you have any crisis that lasts for more than a week.

I think that a week is about all a person can handle without beginning to do some type of mind and body refreshing, or self care. It could keep you from running down the middle of the street, screaming at the top of your lungs.

What does self-care look like? It’s not usually just one thing, but a series of small things that will help you feel a little better, and it is different for all of us. It is something that gets your head out of the situation -at least for a few minutes.

I like to put cream on my feet, and if a week has gone by without that, then I have been under too many demands. I like to connect with a best friend for a visit or long conversation -uninterrupted! A meal in a restaurant, a short walk. A babysitter for the kids! A soak in the tub, a manicure or haircut. Sometimes, it is fifteen minutes near a sunny window with my eyes closed. (It’s winter here, or a lawn chair would do just fine.)

What little things refresh you? Make a list, and be reasonable. (No trips to Hawaii.) Try to do one thing every day. When we had Lilly, we had years of one crisis after another. Hey, I lived through it with her, and now there are new ones with other family. Does anyone have a life without troubles? No.

And take time to pray and connect with the Creator. He created you, and is able to refresh you.

Wishing you the best, Nealie

 

Share This:

Jan 112016
 

If I can just get through this, life has to get better.

If I can just get through this surgery . .

If I can just get through the funeral . . .

If I can just get through these obligations . . .

If I can just get through . . .

When life has you by the neck, and each day is a struggle, how do you get through it?

A friend told me yesterday that she gets mad when people say to those struggling, “God will never give you more than you can bear.” She said that is not true, and that verse concerns temptation, not the burdens of life. She said that sometimes we do have more than we can bear, and that’s when, if we know God, we can say, “But for God . . ”

But for God’s help, I would have died.

But for God’s intervention, I would have lost hope.

But for God. He will give you the strength to get through the worst situations, which are impossible without Him.

When we were raising Lilly, we had days that were so traumatic and draining that we didn’t think we’d survive.

You may be in the middle of something that has emptied you of every ounce of energy and hope. Step back and put the situation in a very big hand, (after all, the earth is His footstool), and little by little there will be change enough to get through. It may not become perfect, or what you want it to become, but you will be able to breathe again. -Nealie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share This:

What a Difference a Bow Made

 Children, Inspirational  Comments Off on What a Difference a Bow Made
Dec 232015
 

A pick-up truck parked near the road had been for sale for a while, but I never looked twice at it until a red bow was added to the windshield.

I found myself imaging giving that truck to Bruce for Christmas, and what a nice present it would be. Wait a minute. We did not need that truck. What was it about that bow that changed my thoughts?

I have heard that packaging is everything, and it might be true. Look what a difference that bow made!

I recently shared the Christmas story in Luke with some teen girls. One had never heard it before, and seemed awed. Me, too, every time I read it. That time, I noted that Jesus’s “packaging” was swaddling clothes, which were far from grand. The greatest gift ever given didn’t adhere to the “packaging is everything” rule.

But then, maybe yes. Who doesn’t love a baby?

Merry Christmas! Love my readers, Nealie

Share This: