Brave Bart: Don’t Underestimate This Kid’s Book!

 Chasing Lilly, Foster children, Fostering, Life's Difficulties, RAD parenting  Comments Off on Brave Bart: Don’t Underestimate This Kid’s Book!
Jan 122018
 

Brave Bart Book by Caroline H. Sheppard about childhood traumaI recently purchased a wonderful book for “traumatized and grieving children,” and wanted to share it with my readers. I saw Kathi Beadle today. She was Lilly’s therapist early on, and I showed her the Brave Bart book. She smiled and said she had used that exact title and the therapy puppet cats that can accompany it when she worked with Lilly so many years ago!

I cannot wait to show the book to Lilly and re-read it with her, even though she is in her twenties now. She has been going through a rough patch for several months, and this could be just what she needs.

And if you were traumatized as a child, then I think you would also benefit from reading about Bart. (Yes, you.)

I love my readers, and want this year to be more peaceful than last year. -Nealie

P.S. A side note on the Amazon Audibles version of Chasing Lilly that was in production… the narrator’s equipment was trashed by a worm or virus to the point of no return. I feel so sad for her, as she was 99% finished, and lost everything else in her system as well. I will have to resubmit the book and start over with another narrator. Keep you posted!

Oct 052017
 

Bruce wore tiger-striped reading glasses today. Some I picked up from the dollar store. He has no fashion sense and doesn’t care, so it’s amusing when he is accidentally in style.

He needed a bandage because he just had something on his face treated by the dermatologist. So I heard him yell, “Don’t tell me this is all we have for bandaids?”

I responded, “What? You don’t like bright purple ones? Lime green? How about the ones with hearts? Oh, and we have some with Minions on them!”

Tiger stripes framed the resignation in his eyes. He must have sensed what was not fashionable right then. Imagine that. 🙂

Bruce has always had my back. I wouldn’t have been able to do what I did with Lilly without him. Working with a traumatized child is an uphill climb, and you have to have some help along the way. Maybe the “Bruce” in your life is a close friend, a brother, or a group of parents supporting each other. Don’t try to go for any length of time by yourself.

Where can you find some support? Try your local foster agency, either county or private. They will know about support groups. Ask around if you belong to a church. Here are organizations that are helpful:

BEYOND Trauma and Attachment (BETA)  A Facebook open support group . They offer humor, information, and retreats.

Attachment & Trauma Network (ATN)   Great international resource with a crisis hotline: 888-656-9806.

The National Institute for Trauma and Loss in Children is on Face Book. TLC 

Institute for Attachment and Child Development IACD

See my RESOURCE tab on the home page for more help. <3 Nealie

*(Minions is a trademark of Universal City Studios LLC)

 

Oh Boy!

 General Humor, RAD parenting, Uncategorized  Comments Off on Oh Boy!
Feb 012017
 

Do any of you take your special child to public places with caution, and hold your breath until you get home? I’m laughing, because it still happens, and Lilly is in her twenties. Lilly is hyper-sensitive to strangers around her, and will often react to their appearance, clothing, voice, or demeanor. We never know what to expect!

Bruce and I were at a Wendy’s restaurant with Lilly, standing off to the side waiting for our order to be filled by a sweet black woman, who was running things behind the counter single-handed with a smile. But the smile instantly vanished when a chubby white man came came up to the counter and held out a soft-drink cup.

“I need a refill of Hi C.”

“We’re all out,” she snapped.

I held my breath, and hoped that Lilly’s interest hadn’t been piqued by the terse exchange. Lilly was looking at them, waiting for what would come next.

And then the man said, “DON’T toy with my emotions.”

The woman laughed and held out her hand. “Give me your cup.”

He handed it to her, and she filled it with Hi C!

Wow. Who would have guessed that they were friends, just messing with each other? We need to save our quick judgements, don’t we? It was nice to witness some fun, even if it was suspenseful.

And remember, don’t toy with my emotions, lol!

-Nealie  😛

 

 

 

Jan 292017
 

Taking Care of Children by Ari Kuzmik

Remember the swimming pool mental picture from Chasing Lilly?

Picture an empty swimming pool in your mind. It represents a damaged child’s life. Then someone dumps a bucket of dirt into the pool. That dirt is the abuse and trauma experienced by the child.

Your job as a healer is to dilute the dirt by adding bucket after bucket of (healing) “water” by loving and connecting with that child.

The trauma (dirt) is still there, and always will be in that pool, but the healing water of goodness, love, and acceptance will dilute the the bad things, and that child will be empowered to have a better life.

The healing will take much longer than the period of abuse did. Sometimes it takes forever.

Forever is a long time, but if I have done anything in my life, let it be that I have helped an injured child heal.

But not at the cost of damaging and traumatizing other children. That’s the catch.

You must protect other children from being harmed, and don’t assume that kids are resilient and everything will be okay, just like you don’t assume that your pets will be fine without added protection.

-Nealie

P.S. Don’t you just love Ari Kuzmik’s art? 🙂