Lesson from the Spider

 Chasing Lilly, Foster children, Fostering, Uncategorized  Comments Off on Lesson from the Spider
Sep 212017

I went to the sink and was surprised to see that a spider had crafted a web over part of the sink bowl, like it now belonged to HIM. I don’t know how he pulled that off.

When you make up your mind to love and stick with a traumatized child, behaviors they throw at you are like that spider’s web. The child may surprise and shock you with their sheer craftiness and obstinacy. Beware, though, of becoming entangled in the web of their antics . That happens so easily when our emotions and tempers explode. I know! Remember when my halo  cracked?

Another word to whoever will listen. My love may not demonstrate like your love, or the love that is politcally correct. Take care of yourself . . .and never stop loving.


A Dirty Life Saver

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Jul 102017

I was cleaning out the console cubby in my car, and found a peppermint Life Saver in the bottom of the little pen cup. It had ink from the pens on it, and looked icky. If I hadn’t eaten it, I’d show you a picture of it -just kidding! The photos did not come out right, but I tried.

I couldn’t help seeing some similarities between that Life Saver, and the life-savers that I know who work or live with damaged children. They often get a little dirty trying to make a difference. You can’t always be picture-perfect or organized when you are saving a life. (Remember my swimming pool soak?)

So to all my friends who have fostered and adopted, or who work with kids like Lilly, Thank you for being a Life-Saver!


Rice Kreepies

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Mar 202017

In Chasing Lilly, I told about a SUPER bad day that started when Lilly said she wouldn’t eat her “Rice Kreepies”for breakfast. She had a speech impairment, and that was the only way she could pronounce Rice Krispies.

I was reminded of that day this past weekend, when a visiting grandson asked where the Crummy Kibbles were. He was looking for a particular cereal, and he wasn’t trying to be funny. I asked him a couple times what the cereal was called, and he never backed off of “Crummy Kibbles.”

Okay then. -We’re all out!

This Saturday, I will be at an Author’s Fair at the main branch of The Canton Library on Market Avenue from 10-4:00.

April 15th, I will be at The Massillon Public Library, (with illustrator Arianna Kuzmik!), on Lincolnway. Hope to see you!

Nealie 😎



Oh Boy!

 General Humor, RAD parenting, Uncategorized  Comments Off on Oh Boy!
Feb 012017

Do any of you take your special child to public places with caution, and hold your breath until you get home? I’m laughing, because it still happens, and Lilly is in her twenties. Lilly is hyper-sensitive to strangers around her, and will often react to their appearance, clothing, voice, or demeanor. We never know what to expect!

Bruce and I were at a Wendy’s restaurant with Lilly, standing off to the side waiting for our order to be filled by a sweet black woman, who was running things behind the counter single-handed with a smile. But the smile instantly vanished when a chubby white man came came up to the counter and held out a soft-drink cup.

“I need a refill of Hi C.”

“We’re all out,” she snapped.

I held my breath, and hoped that Lilly’s interest hadn’t been piqued by the terse exchange. Lilly was looking at them, waiting for what would come next.

And then the man said, “DON’T toy with my emotions.”

The woman laughed and held out her hand. “Give me your cup.”

He handed it to her, and she filled it with Hi C!

Wow. Who would have guessed that they were friends, just messing with each other? We need to save our quick judgements, don’t we? It was nice to witness some fun, even if it was suspenseful.

And remember, don’t toy with my emotions, lol!

-Nealie  😛




Jan 232017

cats cuddling

Hi Readers,

I don’t usually say much about what’s going on with Lilly, but she’s been having a difficult time since Thanksgiving. I’m asking you for some prayers to get her past this.

I can’t go into detail, but her behavior has been off the charts. I am praying for the right medications, wise council, and for Lilly herself to have a light come on in her understanding of some things.

I believe that prayers can and do make a huge difference. Thank you! Nealie.

Jan 132017


If you are fatigued from the demands of caring for special needs children, you must catch a break at some point. Respites are for that purpose, so use them if you are lucky enough to have them!

If you don’t have respites available, try to get away for a few hours to recharge, by asking a spouse or family to spell you. Don’t suffer in silence. You could switch off for several hours at a time with another family who has a special needs child.

When you need a vacation and it just isn’t going to happen, pull a chair up to a window where the sun is shining in, and soak in some sunshine with coffee and a book. Or simply close your eyes for ten minutes while you’re sitting near the window. Sunshine is healing.

Reduce time on social media if you can. Texting and gaming are drains.  Connect directly with a friend by talking on the phone or meeting in person.

And don’t forget prayer and meditation. There’s a strength and refreshing that comes in those quiet moments. 😎  -Nealie  

The Lone Rager?

 Chasing Lilly, General Humor, Uncategorized  Comments Off on The Lone Rager?
Jan 012017

The Lone Rager

The art work is Tommy’s. He just turned eight and is a prolific artist.

This picture stood out to me, because not only is it funny, it can represent several things. One of course, is the real Lone Ranger. 🙂

Then, there is the Lone RAGER, who could be an adult who is always angry about something.

But what about a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder? That child rages all the time, it seems. Unfortunately, there are more than one of these ragers, and the numbers are growing. There are a whole lot of angry and hurting children out there, and most teachers and social workers don’t know what to do with them.

That’s why I wrote Chasing Lilly and the Curriculum. Please pass the word if you haven’t already.

I would love to do a kid’s book on the Lone Rager. I’ll add that to my list of what I’d like to accomplish in 2017.

And if you are parenting a lone rager, don’t forget to check out the resources offered on my website. An especially good one is  Dr. Karyn Purvis and the Connected Child.

Love my readers!  -Nealie


Here it is Again!

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Nov 232016

I know you’re busy, but take 60 seconds and laugh a little at these guys. I like the one who stuffs his cheeks with pieces of pie in this adorable video clip!

Love my readers, Nealie

Nov 202016

160211_0002I’ve always told any kids riding in my car that I have an eject button, and will use it if they act up. The belief that I actually have an eject button eventually comes to an end. That happened today for Travis.

I was driving grandsons Tommy and Travis, ages 7 & 8, to a birthday party, and they were not being the quiet little travelers that I needed. I gave them a few admonishments to settle down and knock it off, etc. Finally I said, “Travis, if you don’t settle down in my car, I’m pressing the eject button!”

Things became quiet  for a second, then he challenged, “You don’t really have an eject button.”

I shot back, “You’re right, but I can pull over, stop the car, and toss you in a ditch!”

So we’ve now moved on from the eject button, to threat of harm and desertion. For all of you that have me on a pedestal, I hope knowing this helps.

Have a great Thanksgiving! 😛 Nealie