Nov 092018
 

Canva-Dry-leaves

 

Ah, the lure of nicotine! When Lilly was younger she used to call out people about their smoking, telling them they should not be doing that. It used to agitate her a lot when people smoked near her, because her birth parents burned her with cigarettes when she was under the age of two.

Despicable and horrifying as that is, Lilly’s mother was a fourth generation foster child herself, and she may have repeated ugly things done to her when she was a little girl. If people don’t know how to break a chain of violence  or addiction, it continues through generations until someone does break that chain.

Back to the smoking. Lilly found out about nicotine gum, and would ask for it whenever she had a hospital admission, which was frequently. I found out last week that Lilly is smoking two real cigarettes a day at her group home. They are lit for her outside, and staff keeps the lighter.

Lilly is in her twenties. She doesn’t get to drive, have a real job, get married, have kids, or do anything that she sees “normal people” do. (That’s what she calls you and me.) And she is frequently angry about that, because she observes the differences between her life and others her age. She’s no dummy.

I have fought back on this for years because it’s not healthy. Is anything in her life healthy? The psychotropic drugs? The many other various medications? The lack of any exercise? Eating only high carb, greasy foods because that’s all she wants? Remember the lady that made me laugh all the way home in Chasing Lilly, because she told Lilly to try OxyClean? (trademark) Why would a girl who wipes her mouth on her shirt, care if her shirt was white and clean? It’s not that I don’t care about Lilly. You all know I do, but some things are too impossible to fight, and I have enough other battles.

So let her smoke.

-Nealie

 

 

Oct 262018
 

Crock-Pot-Turkey

I celebrated Thanksgiving a month early this year, and the turkey was too big for the crock-pot. (Who does a turkey in a crock-pot?)

Zip-ties to the rescue, along with some rocks. I had no intention of taking a picture (or blogging) when I started the turkey project this morning, but it was too weird to ignore.

And that’s what self-care sometimes looks like. Not like the zip-strips and rocks, but like weird.

I’m not doing the traditional Thanksgiving this year. I need a break from all the family drama. Not having anyone over. Not going to anyone’s house. Just staying home and being THANKFUL for some peace, lol!

Does self-care mean you don’t love others? No.

Does self care mean you are selfish? No.

It means you know when you can’t take any more without snapping, and so you do what you have to do to be sane.

I am sane. And I am thankful. And God is good. All the time.

-Nealie

 

Free Audibles of Chasing Lilly

 Chasing Lilly, General Information, Uncategorized  Comments Off on Free Audibles of Chasing Lilly
Jun 022018
 

Chasing-Lilly-BookFor the first five readers who respond/comment to this post, I will email a code so you can listen to Chasing Lilly’s Audible version. I’ll do a Face Book offer for another 5 codes, too, so check there if this doesn’t work out for you.

Note:  You need to be a member of Audibles to use the code, and it would be great if you left a review when you’ve finished the book. 🙂

-Nealie