Oh, the emotions I have experienced raising Lilly! Emotions have been all of these and more:
Fear for her safety
Fear for my safety
Fear for others’ safety
Fear of the future
Fear that she would get mad
Fear of things being broken or destroyed
Fear of what people would think
Fear of failing at mothering her
Fear at what the strain would do to my marriage
Fear of losing every friend I’ve ever had, because of Lilly
Fear for my pet’s safety
Fear of a mental or emotional breakdown
Fear she’d be rejected by the schools
Fear that drivers would refuse to transport her
Fear that she’d run away again
Fear we’d never get relief or help
Fear of hurting her by my responses to the craziness
You get the picture!
I could go on, but the common feeling was fearfulness about what might or could happen. And believe me things happened -ALL the time!
You must reach a point where you take inventory and decide what you will endure and put up with, and what you won’t. That’s what I call your safe spot.
What are you willing to risk? Where do you draw the line? I’m talking to you. 🙂
Make a list, mentally or on paper, of what you are and are not willing to sacrifice. For me, broken windows were a shattering experience, lol, but I could deal with that. I could handle losing some friends, but not losing connection with my immediate family. (Some of you would rather keep your friends!) I could accept that things in the house might be broken, but I was not willing to have my bones broken.
This kind of thinking also applies to other caregiving situations, like caring for an elderly parent. In all this, it does nobody any good if you lose your mind, or your health and well-being because you refuse to look at facts. Facts that you are likely to die in one way or another if you don’t find and STAY in your safe spot.
I like to keep things short, so I will end it here, but think about this.