If you are a parent of a Developmental Trauma or RAD child, it’s the hardest thing to stay calm. I know first-hand. (See page 168 of Chasing Lilly when I could have creamed Lilly in the locker room, lol!)
There are some things that you can do to help stay calm.
When your child acts out in a big way, don’t say a n y t h i n g. Secure the area for safety, and as long as nobody is in danger, keep quiet. At least until you can think clearly instead of react. Your heart may be hammering so hard inside your rib cage that you think you’ll stroke out, but staying quiet instead of screaming helps, if you can do it. 🙂
Pay attention to your body’s signals. Do you clentch your fists when you are angry? Then when that begins, make a point of holding your hands open so that you can’t form a stress-fist. If you clamp your jaw or grind your teeth before a rage, make a point of keeping your jaw relaxed and slightly open. Do you get all red and hot? Put an ice cube on your forehead or in your mouth. You can close your eyes and breathe for a minute while you pray.
Doing these things could actually help you keep from doing something foolish while you work on an appropriate response to your child.
P.S. If you’ve never listened to an audio book and would like to try Audibles so you can listen to Chasing Lilly, here’s the link!