I Don’t Think We Can Do This Much Longer

That’s something so many people say when they are struggling with a traumatized child.

Specifically, a Developmental Trauma Disorder child, like Lilly. Or like your DTD child.

What I would say to you is this:

  1.  Stay safe! Physically stay safe. Keep other children out of the path of danger. Lock yourself in a room and call the police if you feel in danger. You cannot help the DTD child (or any other kids in the house) if you are injured. Deal with broken windows later…better that than a broken you.
  2.  If you are having trouble being believed about the craziness and danger, secretly film it. I never had to do this because I was believed, but do it if you need to. Ann and Marty Wells in Chasing Lilly had to film Lilly to be believed. (If the child knows you are doing the filming it will up the ante for them, so do it secretly.)
  3.  Don’t hesitate to allow police intervention. We had the police involved many times, and at the beginning they didn’t want to do anything but lecture our little darling because she was sooooo little. (What self-respecting officer is going to haul a 50 pound little kid to the police station?) But after a while the lectures end, and they call an ambulance for a psychiatric trip to the hospital. More and more, younger children are ending up with police interventions, and it’s scary! But if it is the only way to eventually get help for that child then it has to be done. If your kid is a teen they will be charged with unruly child, assault, etc., and sent to a juvenile detention center. Once there, if the center cannot handle them, then you have even more documentation and hopefully the needed services will be made available. Nobody wants to pay for anything or pay attention to the huge need for help, until the chaos is in their corner.
  4.  Never give up on being therapeutic! But do it from a safe place.

Love my Readers,

Nealie