(So many of you really care about what happens to Lilly. and although I can’t give too many details, here is an update.)
Lilly’s employment in the resale shop hasn’t yet happened. Nobody working for the County knows the location of her Social security card and original birth certificate, and she needed both to get the required state I.D. for employment. So that has been delayed, and multiple hospitalizations in the last two months haven’t helped the process along much because of the interruptions.
Lilly hasn’t been able to maintain in the group home environment yet again. Surprise, surprise. I think this was at least the fifth group home in the community that we’ve tried.
The community doesn’t like my kid. Lilly breaks their mailboxes and smashes their lawn ornaments. Let’s see, I wondered recently did she break something like a flamingo, or a statue of Mary or Jesus? I asked her, and she said, “Mom, I would never break a statue of Mary or Jesus. You know that.” Yes, I knew that. Silly me, lol!
This group home experience has been a smash-up (literally), and Lilly is in the hospital after pushing a neighbor (who was objecting to their mailbox destruction). I don’t know if it’s the same neighbor whose yard she was in a couple weeks ago, but that man told her to get out of his yard. She told him she’d break his windows and kick his butt, so he called the police.
You all understand me. It’s really NOT funny. When Bruce and I went to see her in the Psych ward recently, she was calm. Almost relieved. Lilly feels safer when she is in an environment where she can’t hurt herself or others, and she has therapy and things to do. And that makes sense. Remember what the guardian told me (in Chasing Lilly)?
She said, “Now don’t quote me on this, because I NEVER said it. Sometimes –and it is rare– sometimes we need to give a child the freedom to be a residential or institutional child. Some children cannot make it in a family, period, and feel better about themselves when not in one, but still cared for, naturally. These are the most severely damaged and abused kids that can never be what they need to be in a family for any length of time. It is actually freeing for them to be out of one.”
When Lilly is in a group home, she is usually there as the lone occupant, or sometimes with one other person. There’s not a whole lot going on, and if she doesn’t like her one staff person or has a disagreement with them, then she gets into all kinds of trouble. In contrast, the residential type setting has lots of different staff, other clients (and their distracting drama), and activities and structure. If she decides to run off, she’s got five or six people chasing her immediately, and she knows they’ll catch her. It’s reassuring to her in a strange way.