Category: Foster children

Guardian of the Book


Lilly was able to come for a home visit after 14 months of being pretty much stuck at her facility because of covid. She was only off-campus for doctor and dentist appointments.

It was nice having her here! Lilly had never seen this current home because we moved during her lock-down. She’d been able to get a feel for where we now live through DUO face-to-face calls. Thank goodness for technology like that.

We still had to make sure there were no scissors, knives, pill bottles, etc. anywhere in sight before she arrived. That doesn’t change no matter where we live.

Her first request was to see her “Life Book.” In Chasing Lilly I wrote about how CHC required foster parents to make one for each child, and how much it has meant to Lilly over these 21 years.

While examining and commenting on the pictures, Lilly asked if she could take it with her when she left.

Hmmm, now that was a hard question. I’d love to hand it over to her. But any and every time I have given her duplicate pictures, (which has been quite a few times), the photos disappear. Forever.

I have no idea what has become of them, but suspect that she rips them up when she’s mad, or they get swept up in the trash when her room is cleaned out.

I’m not about to turn the book over to her yet, so I told Lilly that she could take it with her when she had gone a year without any major violence. That seems like a long time (and it is), but the only photographic history that exists of her life is not going into the trash because I go soft.

My official title is Guardian of the Person, but I guess I’m also Guardian of the Book.

Love my Readers, -Nealie

We Found It!


Hi Friends and Readers!

It’s been a while since you’ve heard from me. My news seems so small compared to the world news, but I’m reporting nonetheless.

It hit me today that Lilly has found the perfect residential center. She has lived there about a year now, and I have absolutely no complaints.

Now that’s news. The problem is that I cannot share where that place is because of Lilly’s privacy concerns.

So what is the difference between THIS place and the five (or six?) other residential settings where Lilly has lived?

A big difference is location. It is away from the big cities where most of the other places were. I have a theory, too, about it:

Life is slower in a country or rural setting, and the employees are more relaxed and happy. They seem like an entire different species of people! They smile. They aren’t so rushed. They actually seem to care more, and I think they that really do. The employees treat Lilly and each other with respect.

So now that we have the perfect place, and Lilly has done so well (because she is able to relax and feel safe), guess what unfortunately comes next?

…Being moved out of this center and moved into another less expensive place somewhere. Of course.

If I can thank the COVID19 crisis for anything, (imagine that), it would be because it’s holding up Lilly’s next move. For until most restrictions are removed, she gets to stay put.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how things could have been so much better for Lilly (way before now) if the places she lived were designed and run differently. I’d like to share my ideas about what “that place” looks like (to me) in the near future.

Maybe it could really happen someday.

Love my Readers,