How to Find Your Safe Spot


Oh, the emotions I have experienced raising Lilly! Emotions have been all of these and more:

Fear for her safety

Fear for my safety

Fear for others’ safety

Fear of the future

Fear that she would get mad

Fear of things being broken or destroyed

Fear of what people would think

Fear of failing at mothering her

Fear at what the strain would do to my marriage

Fear of losing every friend I’ve ever had, because of Lilly

Fear for my pet’s safety

Fear of a mental or emotional breakdown

Fear she’d be rejected by the schools

Fear that drivers would refuse to transport her

Fear that she’d run away again

Fear we’d never get relief or help

Fear of hurting her by my responses to the craziness

You get the picture!

I could go on, but the common feeling was fearfulness about what might or could happen. And believe me things happened -ALL the time!

You must reach a point where you take inventory and decide what you will endure and put up with, and what you won’t. That’s what I call your safe spot.

What are you willing to risk? Where do you draw the line? I’m talking to you. 🙂

Make a list, mentally or on paper, of what you are and are not willing to sacrifice. For me, broken windows were a shattering experience, lol, but I could deal with that. I could handle losing some friends, but not losing connection with my immediate family. (Some of you would rather keep your friends!) I could accept that things in the house might be broken, but I was not willing to have my bones broken.

This kind of thinking also applies to other caregiving situations, like caring for an elderly parent. In all this, it does nobody any good if you lose your mind, or your health and well-being because you refuse to look at facts. Facts that you are likely to die in one way or another if you don’t find and STAY in your safe spot.

I like to keep things short, so I will end it here, but think about this.








  1. Deborah says:

    I always admired your ability to set healthy boundaries and you communicated your boundaries clearly to others.

    • NealieRose says:

      Thank you so much, Deborah. Sticking to your safe spot sometimes looks mean or uncaring to others, but they don’t know all the facts, do they, lol? I appreciate the comment.:)

Comments are closed.